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Amy Peterson

May 17, 2024 ·

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I woke up late this morning. Not like me at all. Buddy sleeps with me and let me sleep in. Yesterday I had such a hard day. Shaking all over. Blacking out every time I tried to stand up. Even going to the restroom was difficult. That has taken place for almost three days now. That is just part of me having a bad day. Coughing like I have bronchitis yet just part of my C.O.P.D, emphysema, Asthma, chronic lung syndrome. That raises my already high blood pressure. Even with many pills I stay at stroke level. My Oxygen dropping in the low 70’s with my Oxygen pumping at full blast. Those are just a few of my medical issues. Who cares really, I am just not healthy, and it shows what I can do. It is sad that we cannot see on the outside what another is struggling with on the inside. My nephew by Mom’s marriage. Says I am fat and lazy. Fat yes. Lazy I can only do what my body allows. Good days are great getting more done. Bad days stuck in bed and in my room. I have never been lazy. I would work myself to death if my body would keep up with my mind. I will take it though as looking from the outside it could appear that way. The sun was already up by the time I got out of bed the other morning. All the animals depend on me to feed them much earlier. The cats, the possums, squirrels, birds, Buddy, and all the other critters around here. WE have planted flowers and bushes in the yard for the butterflies, bees, squirrels, and other critters that hang around. For the snakes I have snake rid to keep them suckers off my front, back porch and out of the house. I hate snakes with passion. Plenty of yard for them to do their thing. Just not on our porches where we socialize or in the house. NOPE! I love all animals, reptiles, whatever. I don’t do spiders and snakes. I do not care much for bats, mice, rats either. They all have a right to live and survive. Just not in our house if possible. All the other birds, reptiles, animals are fine with no issues. Those five I struggle with. I still put food and other stuff outside for them to eat. Waste not, want not. Be good even to those who are not good to us. Every living being has a purpose. Just some are not welcome in my house. Ok so it is about to start storming outside for the next few hours. I am somewhat excited about that. Why? Because I can breathe, it is cooler after it rains. Lowers the pollen while reducing the humidity that chokes the life out of me. Rainstorms most of the time bring me major peace. I also love lightning storms. So beautiful unless you are hit. I was hit ones by a strike bouncing off the pool to my arm and out my metal chair. I must say it was an electrifying experience, yet my dumb bottom is sitting outside wanting to watch the storm. I am so tired of being in my bedroom. Plus, I want to teach Buddy not to be afraid of storms. It will help when the 4th of July comes up. I love the rain and the lightning storms reminding me of precious moments of my youth with my Mimi and all the other people at the old folk’s home I spent two years of my formative years. My Jessica used to be afraid of storms. I had her dance in the rain with me. Jumping in water puddles and just having a BLAST! I was still a child myself growing up with them, but what great memories these storms bring to mind. We are going to cover the Last chapter of 1 Corinthians today. Normally lots of names are mentioned for the good and to avoid. Remember the church is just being started. The New Testament is being written before our eyes as we read. Let us begin.

1 Corinthians 16: Instructions and Greetings

(1) Now concerning the collection for the saints, as I have given order to the churches of Galatia, even so do ye. (2) Upon the first [day] of the week let every one of you lay by him in store, as [God] hath prospered him, that there be no gatherings when I come. (3) And when I come, whomsoever ye shall approve by [your] letters, them will I send to bring your liberality unto Jerusalem. (4) And if it be meet that I go also, they shall go with me. “Jerusalem had a great famine needing help to eat and survive. Paul is asking the Gentile churches to step up and gather things together for our Jewish brothers and sisters in the Lord Jesus. For people of their community to take it to Jerusalem. So, they know where it goes and Paul is not asking for himself or acting shadily. Paul will go with them showing them the way if they like. However, witnesses from their church needed to also go. To keep everything honest and above board. Please look up verses below.”

(cf. Act 19:21 )

(5) Now I will come unto you, when I shall pass through Macedonia: for I do pass through Macedonia. (6) And it may be that I will abide, yea, and winter with you, that ye may bring me on my journey whithersoever I go. (7) For I will not see you now by the way; but I trust to tarry a while with you, if the Lord permit. ( But I will tarry at Ephesus until Pentecost. (9) For a great door and effectual is opened unto me, and [there are] many adversaries. “When God opens doors to lead others to Jesus. This is not the time to leave, move or even go where we want. When in Ohio I had two Muslim stores that I used to go to almost daily. Making friendships and giving them the bible on CD’s to listen too. Among other things. These were doors to plant and water seeds. There was still much hatred for the Muslim people taking place. One of the very reasons I felt it was my mission to show Jesus loves us all. Not real safe places as many Muslim customers hated American Christians but I was safe there. Some leaders of the Muslim faith came to one store with them fighting about me being there hanging out. The two brothers who owned the store stuck up for me. Kindness grows if we allow it too.”

(10) Now if Timotheus come, see that he may be with you without fear: for he worketh the work of the Lord, as I also [do]. (11) Let no man therefore despise him: but conduct him forth in peace, that he may come unto me: for I look for him with the brethren. “When Paul sends others to the churches Paul started. Paul wants them to know who he sends. That they are to be treated with love, peace and be welcomed into their communities. Paul also warned against people that would come in teaching lies misdirecting the people. This is why it is so important to know who Paul is sending.”

(12) As touching [our] brother Apollos, I greatly desired him to come unto you with the brethren: but his will was not at all to come at this time; but he will come when he shall have convenient time. (13) Watch ye, stand fast in the faith, quit you like men, be strong. (14) Let all your things be done with charity. (15) I beseech you, brethren, (ye know the house of Stephanas, that it is the firstfruits of Achaia, and [that] they have addicted themselves to the ministry of the saints,) (16) That ye submit yourselves unto such, and to every one that helpeth with [us], and laboureth. (17) I am glad of the coming of Stephanas and Fortunatus and Achaicus: for that which was lacking on your part they have supplied. (18) For they have refreshed my spirit and yours: therefore acknowledge ye them that are such. (19) The churches of Asia salute you. Aquila and Priscilla salute you much in the Lord, with the church that is in their house. (20) All the brethren greet you. Greet ye one another with an holy kiss. (21) The salutation of [me] Paul with mine own hand. (22) If any man love not the Lord Jesus Christ, let him be Anathema Maranatha. (23) The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ [be] with you. (24) My love [be] with you all in Christ Jesus. Amen.

Now Paul wanted Apollos to go there. Paul was an apostle with great authority so why did Apollos not do what Paul wanted? Just because a leader in the church tells you to do something. If God has you doing something else. Stick with following God and His Holy Spirit! God first and not the leaders. This is why Paul was not mad or say anything negative about Apollos as he was following the spirit of God! We need to do the same. Now Paul sends greetings from other fellow workers. Paul also mentions how this community was not helping others as they were called to do. Not putting them down. Saying how others had to pick up their slack. Praying God would lay on their hearts to step up in faith and giving. They could send an encouraging letter. They could send a blanket, a coat, a meal, some fruit, something to help Paul and the others on their journey. To give care and kindness to others letting that spirit be apart of who they are in Jesus. It is the little things that add up to big things. Less focus on me. More focus on you. I pray this chapter and book has blessed you. Another one finished. Yippee! Peace, Love, and Light to you ALL! Amy Peterson 5-17-2024

Lord I thought I had a ruff day. Mom, came home with a bottle of tequila (2killya) as I call it. I said, Oh Lord! You must have had one heck of a day to buy that! I told her if she became mean after drinking it that I would pour it out in the yard! I sure as heck won’t touch that stuff! Hard lesson learned many years ago and NEVER AGAIN! Tequila is NOT my friend! I was back in my regular classroom today with my teacher asking me if I was getting the yearbook. I told her a deeply wanted to but truly could not afford it. How said, I was that so many I worked with over the years this was their last year truly wanting too. She is very matter of fact type person. She said I did not ask for all that I just wanted to know if you were buying one. If you said, No, then I would have asked if you wanted one. She then said, she was buying one for everyone in her class and she would buy one for me. Of course, I had to go into how nice that was and how thankful I was. More emotion stuff she does not deal well with. Laughing. She then asked me if I would copy some papers for her. I jumped up to do it exclaiming yes it would be my pleasure. She never asks me to do anything, and I am always asking for anything I can do to help her. I think the copies were just to get me out of the room as we did not use them today. I am laughing again. Mom said she understood the teacher that I am not good with yes or no questions. I just do not see it as yes or no questions. To truly answer a question. I have a tendency to go into details of why. If people want a yes or no answer when asking me a question, then they should state that in the question. My mind does not jump to that conclusion. I think that is extremely kind of the teacher and most grateful! It also makes me feel good that she thought about me only being in her classroom a few days this year. I believe she and my co-worker were surprised the children with pull-ups responded to me day one. With my co-worker saying how he doubted they would let me most likely attacking me. I have had no problems with that. Just let the children know they are safe, loved, what you are going to do before you do it. Explain everything asking permission. They will let you know. After that is done you do it again explaining what you are going to do, then ask permission. I do this every time even with students I have worked with for years. It is just how I do things. I am never in a rush. I always explain first doing just what I say. Asking permission and they let me know. Both the teacher and the co-worker were shocked my first day in the classroom each child responded so good with me. We have a tendency to be in a rush, get stressed out not thinking about the other little human before us just how to get everything done. I made to many of those mistakes with my own children as they were growing up. Even doing that once in my eyes is too much and a regret each mistake I have ever made DEEPLY within my soul. These children are not small for long and I do NOT take one day for granted no matter how bad I might feel or stressed. Lessons learned and seeing so many things different these days. Now I long to finish chapter 16 so we can cover chapter 17 with so much to share yet just trying to make it through till summer vacation. This will be the first one I have ever taken! I need it. I may never do it again, but I needed this one.

Acts16: continued 28 But Paul cried with a loud voice, saying, Do thyself no harm: for we are all here. “Now their shackles, chains, ALL FELL OFF THEM. The prison doors also were open. Nobody left. They were having church in that prison praising God, learning, and they all stayed right there. The Jailor man was about to kill himself as the rulers above him would have surely not only killed him but tormented him most miserable before they did! When Paul told this man to have hope that they were all there the prison guard hoped but had doubt till what happened next. Please do NOT kill yourself. Please trust God and see what happens next.”

29 Then he called for a light, and sprang in, and came trembling, and fell down before Paul and Silas, “Jailor man knew that these men could have easily left leaving this man for a certain death sentence and major beating before his death. We might have run. I am more like Paul staying taking the pain because my job is not finished yet. I know when my job is done, and when it is time for me to leave. I just know till then I stay planted. Now let us see what Jailor man says to Paul and Silas with what he does.”

30 And brought them out, and said, Sirs, what must I do to be saved? 31 And they said, Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved, and thy house. 32 And they spake unto him the word of the Lord, and to all that were in his house. 33 And he took them the same hour of the night, and washed their stripes; and was baptized, he and all his, straightway. 34 And when he had brought them into his house, he set meat before them, and rejoiced, believing in God with all his house. “This jailor man could have been killed, all his household, as well as tormented even bringing them out of the prison. This is a complete change of heart not counting the cost rather not giving a crap about the cost following his heart with the call of Jesus on it. If this man or his family were killed at this point they would be saved. Jailor man did all he could to right his wrongs going above and beyond as he was converted as well as everyone close to him was also. Let us see what takes place next.”

35 And when it was day, the magistrates sent the serjeants, saying, Let those men go. 36 And the keeper of the prison told this saying to Paul, The magistrates have sent to let you go: now therefore depart, and go in peace. “That would have been that. Understand the same stubbornness that kept Paul and Silas in that prison was the same thing that would keep them in it. Not ALL prisons are a punishment. In our hardest and most difficult battles there are people watching and those we can touch planting and watering seeds. Our misery never last long although it seems it at the time. We are NEVER in a spot without reason or mission. I am good at running away. Believe me it is more difficult to stay. I also know the difference between running when God needs me to be swallowed by a whale taking me deep beneath the sea/ocean to repent then finish the job. In contrast digging in remaining planted till the job is done to move on. It only took me 51 years. NOT laughing! Some things it took me a little less, but discernment is not an easy thing even when truly connected to God. Many times, we need to make a stand just as Paul is about to do even when it is most uncomfortable.”

37 But Paul said unto them, They have beaten us openly uncondemned, being Romans, and have cast us into prison; and now do they thrust us out privily? nay verily; but let them come themselves and fetch us out. “Now everyone was afraid of the Romans and Paul just drops that card having everyone terrified. I used cards as I love to play any type of card game being taught so many while in Mimi’s elderly home as a child with so many NEW grandparents NOT always teaching me the best things. Poker, several other that they missed teaching me many tricks along the way from a young child. I used to play cards with friends in the neighborhood here and different places. Most of them have moved away or passed away. Now I have an rather expensive IPAD that I play by myself against the computer. Times I win, other times I learn how to play smarter against the computer or any other opponent after learning their ways. I digress. What you did learn about me today is I love to play cards! With a passion could do it all day long for sure!”

38 And the serjeants told these words unto the magistrates: and they feared, when they heard that they were Romans. “Understand the Roman king was crazy, blood thirsty just not a person to mess with as enjoyed hurting others and having control over everything. Reminds me of my X. Also, reminds me of some people I deal with daily with not being that over the top! They just need some time to turn things around. They knew they were in BIG trouble NOT knowing the connections these two had. This is why we are told be careful whose hand you bite as they might be in charge of who feeds you tomorrow. This is so true! We are also told to be nice to strangers doing good to them as we might be entertaining God’s angels when we do. We have no excuse, no reason not to treat others with love. We know vengeance is His. We know we are to love others. We know we are to do good to those that despitefully use us. We have no excuses as how we forgive is how we will be forgiven as well as how we treat others we too will be treated.”

39 And they came and besought them, and brought them out, and desired them to depart out of the city. 40 And they went out of the prison, and entered into the house of Lydia: and when they had seen the brethren, they comforted them, and departed.

I so want to cover chapter 17 as there really is not a break in this letter/document other than what man did braking into chapter and verses. For now I must go to bed with our starting chapter 17 fresh tomorrow. I love and care for each of you. I pray you are blessed by each post bringing each of you closer to Jesus. Peace, Love, and Light to you ALL! Amy Peterson 5-17-2021 12 more days of school. THANK YOU JESUS!

Good Morning everyone and Happy Saturday to you ALL! It is much warmer this morning here in Winter Haven Florida with chances of rain being over 90%. Looks like our temperatures are about to go back to the 90’s and I am not sure how happy I am about that. I still will take the heat over the cold any day of the week. I received my Reappointment letter yesterday via email. I was rather confused by the letter. I was also wondering why it was dated March 12th when it was sent May 15th. I have a funny feeling about the entire situation. Although they asked me back for our next school year that will be the third year with the School. I still have my other job waiting for me that I started 7-7-2017 but I still have not been released by the Doctor to do it. I see the arm Doctor the 26th and we will see what he says. I want to change Doctors, but I only can do that once with no turning back. They can send me way further in Florida with gas already being a huge concern with this Doctor being the closest to me. I have several life changing choices to make that I am struggling with. I need to continue praying about these situations doing my plus and minus list. Just where you name the positives then name the negatives seeing what direction you will choose as you pray about the situation. I personally need to write everything out seeing it on paper or computer screen having everything outside my head to weigh matters properly. When I keep everything in my head, I normally make the wrong choices. I need to make these choices myself with God leading me, as I am the one who must live with the outcomes. When I was younger. I followed what everyone told me to do waking up one day, not even knowing who I was anymore. Truth is that I cannot live that way anymore. I had to live with the consequences of those choices while the advice givers could care less when they gave me bad choices to make. Sure, I won their approval for a minute, but when things went wrong. I received sorry about your luck, maybe you should have made a different choice. This is my life and any choice I MAKE I will deal with the outcome. I was far too trusting most of my life being a doormat that longed to please people thinking somehow that would bring me some type of worth. When Jesus taught me, I was worthy believe me that was a daily battle for YEARS! I had to keep claiming His promises over me if felt like millions of times a day for years. I had to get to know Him and learn to trust Him. That was NOT easy for me. The fact that I have the trust and close relationship with Jesus is ALL Him as He NEVER gave up on me. When I tell you, I believe without a shadow of a doubt that Jesus is alive, real, and His word is true. Best believe that getting to that point was a BUMPY road for sure! Too many stories to share in this post. Just know God and I have had our battles for sure, and I am so THANKFUL HE WON! I am truly blessed in more ways than I can count. Learning a healthy love so I too could share that type of love with others. I had to finish our chapter and we have so much to learn so let us get too it. Praise God after this chapter if you continued with me we have finished yet another book in the bible. Yippee! Acts 28: And when they were escaped, then they knew that the island was called Melita. 2 And the barbarous people shewed us no little kindness: for they kindled a fire, and received us every one, because of the present rain, and because of the cold. “Barbarous people simply they were not Jewish, they were set aside having their own language out in nowhere not visited much if at all by other people. This is a small island, cut off by the world, most likely thinking they were the only people on the planet. Barbarous means cruel people most likely unlearned individuals. These people were anything but cruel as they took all these people in to help them. I believe instead of barbarous they were superstitious as we learn in the next few verses.” 3 And when Paul had gathered a bundle of sticks, and laid them on the fire, there came a viper out of the heat, and fastened on his hand. 4 And when the barbarians saw the venomous beast hang on his hand, they said among themselves, No doubt this man is a murderer, whom, though he hath escaped the sea, yet vengeance suffereth not to live. 5 And he shook off the beast into the fire, and felt no harm. 6 Howbeit they looked when he should have swollen, or fallen down dead suddenly: but after they had looked a great while, and saw no harm come to him, they changed their minds, and said that he was a god. “Now when Paul gathered sticks to throw on the fire a poisonous snake bit him. No harm was done to Paul as he still had kingdom work to do. There are some churches that subject members to poisonous snakes as proof God will save us from anything. Problem is they have not read their bibles taking these verses out of context tempting God. We are never to tempt God as these churches do. Fact is most of them do not have true knowledge reading their bibles faithfully to understand that God’s people die daily from the lack of knowledge of His word.” 7 In the same quarters were possessions of the chief man of the island, whose name was Publius; who received us, and lodged us three days courteously. 8 And it came to pass, that the father of Publius lay sick of a fever and of a bloody flux: to whom Paul entered in, and prayed, and laid his hands on him, and healed him. “None of their medications worked although primitive in nature as we did not have medical labs or all the other fancy stuff we have today. Paul’s prayers for this man worked as Jesus sent them there to do such things for them to believe. God’s word would be preached all over the world and this was taking place even back in those days. Also understand once people experience a healing or a blessing word travels fast as does the negative sadly.” 9 So when this was done, others also, which had diseases in the island, came, and were healed: 10 Who also honoured us with many honours; and when we departed, they laded us with such things as were necessary. 11 And after three months we departed in a ship of Alexandria, which had wintered in the isle, whose sign was Castor and Pollux. 12 And landing at Syracuse, we tarried there three days. 13 And from thence we fetched a compass, and came to Rhegium: and after one day the south wind blew, and we came the next day to Puteoli: 14 Where we found brethren, and were desired to tarry with them seven days: and so we went toward Rome. 15 And from thence, when the brethren heard of us, they came to meet us as far as Appii forum, and The three taverns: whom when Paul saw, he thanked God, and took courage. 16 And when we came to Rome, the centurion delivered the prisoners to the captain of the guard: but Paul was suffered to dwell by himself with a soldier that kept him. 17 And it came to pass, that after three days Paul called the chief of the Jews together: and when they were come together, he said unto them, Men and brethren, though I have committed nothing against the people, or customs of our fathers, yet was I delivered prisoner from Jerusalem into the hands of the Romans. 18 Who, when they had examined me, would have let me go, because there was no cause of death in me. 19 But when the Jews spake against it, I was constrained to appeal unto Caesar; not that I had ought to accuse my nation of. 20 For this cause therefore have I called for you, to see you, and to speak with you: because that for the hope of Israel I am bound with this chain. “Now notice how Paul tells this story. Paul does not bash the Jewish leaders or people even after all they have done to Paul. The only message Paul wants to teach is Jesus staying away from gossiping and backbiting. We need to learn to do the same.” 21 And they said unto him, We neither received letters out of Judaea concerning thee, neither any of the brethren that came shewed or spake any harm of thee. “The main Jewish leaders wanted to keep this a very quiet, afraid that more people would turn to Jesus before they could kill Paul to shut him up. Now here is where things get tricky.” 22 But we desire to hear of thee what thou thinkest: for as concerning this sect, we know that every where it is spoken against. “The sect that is spoken against is the people who believe in Jesus. Now that news was spread quickly and to everyone one they could reach. Negativity moves quickly we need to make sure we are not participating in spreading negativity.” 23 And when they had appointed him a day, there came many to him into his lodging; to whom he expounded and testified the kingdom of God, persuading them concerning Jesus, both out of the law of Moses, and out of the prophets, from morning till evening. 24 And some believed the things which were spoken, and some believed not. 25 And when they agreed not among themselves, they departed, after that Paul had spoken one word, Well spake the Holy Ghost by Esaias the prophet unto our fathers, 26 Saying, Go unto this people, and say, Hearing ye shall hear, and shall not understand; and seeing ye shall see, and not perceive: 27 For the heart of this people is waxed gross, and their ears are dull of hearing, and their eyes have they closed; lest they should see with their eyes, and hear with their ears, and understand with their heart, and should be converted, and I should heal them. “I pray not only for myself but for others to have their heart, eyes, ears opened with the Lord giving us discernment drawing us ever closer to Him. Please pray for the same thing as a hard heart is death to those who believe in Jesus. They will not make it. We need to pray that God changes our heart, others heart helping us love Him and others better.” 28 Be it known therefore unto you, that the salvation of God is sent unto the Gentiles, and that they will hear it. 29 And when he had said these words, the Jews departed, and had great reasoning among themselves. “Paul had to go to the Jewish people first. They chose not to listen or believe. Paul used scriptures to show the Jewish people how they were blinded to the truth. The fact that they left reasoning among themselves is a GREAT thing as the seed was planted. What they did with that we do not know. I just know God was working on their hearts as He does for us.” 30 And Paul dwelt two whole years in his own hired house, and received all that came in unto him, 31 Preaching the kingdom of God, and teaching those things which concern the Lord Jesus Christ, with all confidence, no man forbidding him. Understand Paul was a prisoner yet had great freedom to continue his work for God. If we remain faithful no matter what our circumstances. God will use us and that is a great gift! The Lord gives us different talents/spiritual gifts. If we use those talents for God, and His people. That is our gift to Him. How cool is that! We can give God gifts daily in several different ways. I will address that more in our next writing. We finished the book of Acts! Yippee! Peace, Love, and Light to you ALL! Amy Peterson 5-16-2020

Thank God it is Friday as it has been one heck of a week, and I am ready for a much needed break. Oh the stories I could tell, but cannot. The tree people never came back and it has been about three months or longer now. A LARGE branch broke off our tree in the front yard that is to big, too heavy to move in one piece. Plus, no-one will pick it up unless it is cut up. Mom bought me a chainsaw a dream come true for me. I however feel more comfortable with a pole saw and honestly need one for MANY jobs around here. Mom went to trade it in, but the pole saw would be another $150.00 thus no pole saw for me. I knew tonight this weekend would be cut up that branch and a few other branches around the yard so I could mow. I go to have my MRI Monday so figured better get this stuff done before that. If I could work up the strength to do so. I pumped myself up all day long looking forward to playing with my new toy, burning off some major frustration cutting the crap out of some branches. Every bad, frustrating thing I planned on taking out on the branches with the chainsaw. Well we have the chainsaw but not the special oil it calls for! Bummer. After reading several chapters tonight I am feeling kind of chilled out pretty happy about that. I still need to try to get to some of this grass tonight once it cools down as although it is only 88 degrees right now with the sun beating down it feels hotter. This new pain medication seems to be working much better, but afraid to push myself much harder not wanting to cause more damage. It seems my niece is doing much better this time around. She looks the healthiest and prettiest I have ever seen her. I pray she keeps it up. She is still not welcomed here and I learned more reasons why blowing my mind. Even her foster parents moved to a new house not giving the address until they see a change. I was amazed at the stories of that one also. It breaks my heart in many ways but it goes back to the old story of the boy who cried wolf. The little boy cried wolf so many times to get attention that when a wolf was actually there, no-one believed the little boy ignoring his cries. I also know how it feels to need a helping hand and not one person caring enough to help. It is easy to become cold and jaded hardening our hearts towards others not wanting to be hurt again. Thank God Jesus did not do that! Nor His Father the one and only God! Then we go into why would God allow His only son to pay a price of torment that He did not owe forgetting they are ONE with God actually doing this Himself in many ways. The trinity is still a bit tricky for me a seasoned believer in God, faithful in His word. The only one I felt comfortable with was Jesus and God, the Holy spirit just kind of tripped me out till I got to know each of them personally able to understand they truly are one. This leads me to my verse today. Romans 11:33 KJV O the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! how unsearchable are his judgments, and his ways past finding out! Many things will not be answered until we reach heaven. We just have to push forward in faith with the hope that everything will work out. I will be posting music later and it is more of a way to relax, keep motivated to do things that need to be done. I need it. Mom is having spasms in her back. Has missed work over the pain, and going to bed before 5:00 again. I HATE seeing her so fragile! I have so much gratitude that I can be here to help. I just HATE when I feel I cannot do enough. Most of the time feeling I do not do enough. I can cook, clean, do a million things and still feel like it is not enough. Part of that is old messages, the enemy, and a heart that wants to FIX everything. I am Amy. I am human. I can only do so much and I am not a machine. Now I get frustrated with these people who say if you only have faith then you can move mountains. Ok, I have seen faith do all kinds of things but what happens when it doesn’t and God does not move those mountains. Why won’t He? Just a few from the chapter I ended on then I will tie this up. Mark 11: 24 Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them. 25 And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses. 26 But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses. Our prayers become much different once we line up our flesh with the spirit of God. If there is someone you need to forgive while you pray to God it is like a pile of blocks before it reaches heaven. Now understand God is all arounds us. Sees all, hears all, but we place our own stumbling blocks to His answers. Now you can say I live right, do right, forgave everyone and God still won’t answer my prayers. Yes, at times that does happen. Many times because He is working other things out with people around you that you are not aware of. Saul/Paul prayed over three times that we know of for something to be removed from him that he calls a torn. It was never done, and his only reply was, “My Grace is sufficient”. This is a person who wrote many books in the new testament and did MIGHTY works for the Lord. Who are you? Who am I? Attitude of Gratitude even in the worst circumstances is one of the keys we are shown over and over again even by Jesus facing the cross. Everything happens for a reason and I am a firm believer in that. Do you have someone to forgive? Do you have an issue with being grateful with excuses of all the reasons you should not be? Examine your hearts PLEASE. Peace, Love, and Light to you ALL. Amy Peterson 5-17-2019

I am so tired of the B.S and mind games. I understand that I am sick not feeling well at all. I also know that is when I am a bit more on edge than normal. Lord knows I need the money, and would be off making that happen if I was not so sick. I had someone call me up upset about something, and I told them they had to talk to the big boss. Some dates are hard set meaning we MUST do them that day. Others we can shuffle around to our choosing during whatever week. This person wants to get ahead but does not realize that stomping on others is NOT the way to do that. I seem like an easy target because I avoid conflict at all cost. People mistake my kindness as weakness and think they can walk all over me at times. That is sincerely a big mistake as I too have my breaking point. 50 more days and I will be at this job a year. Lord knows this year has been a hard one with fighting to regain my sight after the accident, medical issues, mom’s surgeries, her medical issues, attorneys, house gutted after sever mold damage. No floors, most walls gutted out. Just a nightmare with all we have been dealing with. Day by day things have gotten better by the Grace of God, and my boss working with me. The co-worker trashing my boss then throwing me under the bus saying I was trashing her! If my boss would have not worked with me none of what has been taking place could have. Funny how a conversation can become so twisted, feelings hurt, by using another person’s name to tell your own story as you hang them out to dry. Well Jo-Blow says, whatever while you either say the SAME THINGS OR ADD TO HIS/HER STORY A BIT TO SAY WHAT YOU DO NOT HAVE THE COURAGE TO SAY YOURSELF THROWING SOMEONE ELESE UNDER THE BUS! HURTING SOMEONE’S FEELINGS doing it because WHAT? I am NOT only hurt/angry for the way things were TWISTED. I am devastated that someone I care deeply about is hurt. Not that she is my boss and want to kiss her bottom for the job! I could find another, and have been offered others. In this job or not. I deeply care about this woman!!!!!!!!! Biggest complaint: lag in response time. OK well she has over 1,000 employees to deal with. Second complaint: the weekend job that is saving Grace at this point. Fact is she is my boss first. Her jobs are just as important and leaving those for other’s does cause conflict. I need to be more mindful of those things. Same thing with God. See the world wants, demands, different things that does NOT always line up with Him. We pick and choose. Our choices matter. I am learning that on a deeper level every day. My verse today: Romans 11:33 KJV

O the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! how unsearchable are his judgments, and his ways past finding out! The wisdom of God goes against everything the world tells us to do these days. My chapter today a few. 1 John 4: 7 Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. 8 He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love. 9 In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him. 10 Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. 11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another. 12 No man hath seen God at any time. If we love one another, God dwelleth in us, and his love is perfected in us. 13 Hereby know we that we dwell in him, and he in us, because he hath given us of his Spirit. Sometimes we can just say yes/no and our conversations can be twisted in we said a huge amount of things we never said! We said yes/no and somehow we wrote a novel in what we said. See right here of Facebook what I say. Judge me by that as many do. Do I say too much at times? Yes! Do I say too little? Well no-one can accuse me of that as I hear my post are too long most of the time. A few more from my chapter today then I will tie this up. 1 John 4: 16 And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him. 17 Herein is our love made perfect, that we may have boldness in the day of judgment: because as he is, so are we in this world. 18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love. 19 We love him, because he first loved us. 20 If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen? 21 And this commandment have we from him, That he who loveth God love his brother also. I do my best to love everyone. Not because I am so great. Because God has shown me how to find compassion for even the people who have hurt me the deepest. That goes from people who have raped me, molested me, hurt my family, and even family members who have done despicable things. I still want to love, find compassion, do things for them even if I have a broken soul from what they did to me. See my soul is not as broken when I find love, compassion, forgiveness with each of these people! So for someone to say I have bashed another that I only find love for it crushes me. Want me to put you on blast? Here is my blast! I will be judged by how I judge and treat you. Believe me before I speak a word in speech, writing, in my heart. I know within me, I just know. A curse maybe as I could just crush you back but no-one looks good fixing another person’s crown while they broadcast all the other sins of that person saying look how great I am in helping another. Shut-up! I am sure she will not read my post as well as many others. There are people who will judge you, cast you away, NEVER hear your side of the story or even care too. That is their problem. Don’t make it yours. I gave till I was broke then people beat me up mentally, physically, spiritually for not meeting expectations they could not even meet themselves. Tell me how I am to change while they hate, backbite, do whatever telling me how I am to be. I cannot judge you. Well I can but then I will be judged by those same judgments someday. I am old, tired, now actually getting half a brain. We start out crying, struggling to communicate what we need from birth. Teenage years we rebel against everything trying to find our own way. The 20’s we just think we know it all. The 30’s for me are mostly a blur. The 40’s well we get half a brain thinking we might know what is up also wondering WHAT WHERE WE THINKING with way to many regrets. We learn to be kinder, find compassion, find something that was there all along but were too blind to see it. I HATE WHEN I AM BLAMED FOR SOMETHING I DID NOT DO, OR SAID I DID. I honestly have such a long line of sins that you can choose from. Pick one, four, fifteen or twenty of them to bash me with. JUST STOP WITH THE THINGS I HAVE NOT DONE! PLEASE! Want to hate or block me it is only a click away. I wish no harm on anyone. Jealous for what? I am a drifter. Once mom passes and it won’t be long. I am homeless, and everything I bought for this home means NOTHING. There is more owed on this home then any home repair will ever cover. I am watching my mom die. I put her first even over my own children many times breaking up even fist fights with her and my children. I was an only child. I also had three adopted that received more of my mother than I ever got. Pissed. I could be. I just know hurting people hurt people. Why did mom? Why did dad? Why did my children? Why did I? Why did my co-worker, so called friend? Why did my family member? Hurting people hurt people and ALL of us are hurting for one reason or another. Does not make you hurt less than another just because you think his/her struggle is greater. You think you are better than because you can do more than another or have more than another. Truth is that we are all starving in our souls one way or another. There comes a time when we wake up. A time when we see past the struggles of everyday life seeing the BIGGER picture. Not easy. I would rather be with the Lord then to live one more day here on earth with the backbiting, trash that is taking place right now. I stay to myself but hell keeps finding me, testing me, wanting to know if I will give up. Eve was at that tree while the enemy screamed different things while God’s voice became a whisper. Before that we did not know we were naked. We did not know anything but walking with Him, talking with Him, having no shame, guilt, judgment, just knowing we were loved and had a friend. When Jesus came and died for us He was trying to do just that. We cannot do that as we still think we need to hide, stay in shame, cover ourselves up as if He could not see us, hear us, understand us. Do you know how many angels wonder why? Do you understand the gift we struggle with many angels cast out hate us for working against us in pure jealousy? So why do some get the salvation while others do not? With people I know the answer, or part of it. With angels fallen or not. I do not know. Peace, Love, and Light to you All. Amy Peterson 5/17/2018

So last night I spoke with some family in N.C. The broken bridge between us that seemed impossible to cross. So many broken pieces, that to come together without someone falling into the racing flood waters of our differences seemed impossible. I have tried to be a peace maker no matter the cost, and that also included throwing away my own value or needs to keep the peace. I learned from a young child to “try” to keep the peace at all cost. If I was good enough, made good grades, used the correct manners, basically was perfect then may be things would be better. I was so convinced the I was the reason everything was wrong, and I somehow had to make things better. Now understand that little children believe everything grownup people tell them. So when you hear, “I wish you were never born.” “If I did not have you my life would not be so hard.” “you may have made straight A’s on the report card, but you are still stupid and will never amount to anything.” “Just go work in a factory, for you will never be able to get a college degree.” “jump at the first man that might be willing to take you for God knows you could never make it on your own!” “You are the reason your mother has cancer.” These were just some of the things I was taught from birth, and brainwashed to believe for way too many years. I have spent years trying to be the perfect whatever you name that I failed miserably at most. Those old messages just had a major hold on me. I had to settle because I was convinced I did not matter. Even a scrap from a table was better than nothing. WRONG! I am not sure how much time I have left on this earth but I will tell you my thinking has really changed. In some way yes!!!!! I regret it has taken me this long to understand those messages were lies. The other part of me just is happy those old recordings are now being replaced with positive true messages about who I am. I held these things in my heart, never really talking about them while the power of negativity took over my soul. So many people blocked me, went off on me for being too honest and open in my post. I was the child that was to be seen but never heard. I have had relationships that I kept my silence while the other bashed or did whatever too me. I remember sitting on the front porch of the house in Okeechobee, Florida and my lover of over nine years broadcasting what I had written in my private diary. The neighbors gathered round, and everyone had a pretty good laugh. The fact of what he was doing, what he did, was not part of the broadcast just my “thoughts, feelings” I had not acted on were told. I promised myself after that moment that NO-ONE would ever have that kind of power over me again! So while he keeps his secrets, lies he has said about me, I am an open book of my own choice. I have spent years working on me, who I am, what I believe. What I have learned is people uncomfortable in his or her own skin spend a lot of time pointing fingers at others because they do not want to look into the mirror and work on themselves. So I started in Luke tonight and these two verses speak of Jesus. I also know that those who believe, follow, trust have His spirit so it becomes true for us also. Luke 4:18-19(KJV) 18 The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised, 19 To preach the acceptable year of the Lord. I want to live this, do this, and pray that the Lord allows me to move to N.C. and see He is mending fences, lives, and I really believe this is where I should go. When people put me down, laugh at me, think I can never make it. Then ask me why I think I ever could make it on my own, well here is the answer. Luke 5:31-32(KJV) 31 And Jesus answering said unto them, They that are whole need not a physician; but they that are sick. 32 I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance. What was broken in my soul is being healed. What I was afraid of I am doing. My heart is not the same, nor is my thinking. God does that! Leaving with the verse I say many times a day to keep going, keep believing, and not letting this world take over anymore. Isaiah 54:17 (KJV) 17 No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord. So off to work on my prayer list. I am worthy. I am loved. I am divinely guided and so are you if you only ask. Peace, Love, and Light to you ALL. Amy Peterson 5/17/2016